The Dark Lord's Website

Thursday, January 24, 2008


The Website of He Who Must Not Be Named has been moved to It will probably end up being divided in two. See you there.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Wild Pigs in Europe

I didn't realise that there were still wild pigs in eastern Europe, but apparently Robert Reichel (the NHL player) was charged by one near the drawbridge of a castle outside of Prague last year. (Fortunately for Reichel, he managed to dodge it at the last second and it plunged into the water; hence, Reichel showed the moat a boar.)

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Sources Indicating That Chazal Did Not Possess Perfect Scientific Knowledge

This post has been moved. Click here:
Sources Indicating That Chazal Did Not Possess Perfect Scientific Knowledge

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Half-Blood Prince Observations

I'm rereading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince carefully, looking for clues about what's really going on. It's tedious work, and seldom leads to anything conclusive, but I'm sure Yeish Lanu Harbe Baquanim will agree that if I practise these skills enough, I could become a highly respected holder of a PhD in English literature. Here's what I've noticed so far. I'll try to stick to facts instead of the sort of unconvincing speculation the extended Maxiebaby clan found on the internet.

1. Notice that Tonks and Draco Malfoy seem to share quite a link. For example, Tonks rescues Harry after Malfoy freezes him under the Invisibility Cloak in the Hogwarts Express on the first day of school; Tonks shows up outside the seventh-floor (Canadian: floor seven) corridor adjoining the Room of Requirement, where Malfoy is supposed to be practising; Tonks and Malfoy both look progressively thinner and sicker throughout the book's dénouement. Could they be the same person? Lupin also looks worse as the book goes on; is that related?

2. This one is glaring, of course: some of what Dumbledore says in the cave between drinks from Voldemort's Horcrux-protecting potion sounds a lot like what Snape ought to say if he were reliving and regretting his betrayal of the Potter parents. Makes you wonder whether the Dumbledore whom Harry accompanies to the cave could really be Snape. Supporting this possibility is Dumbledore's blanching when Harry tells him he has discovered that it was Snape who reported Trelawney's prophecy to Voldemort (i.e., me); Dumbledore's asking Harry to fetch his Invisibility Cloak, when he had long before asked Harry to carry it with him always; Dumbledore's youthful physical abilities when he and Harry swim into the cave and when they fly back to Hogwarts; and Dumbledore's Snape-style healing of his own wound while in the cave antechamber. On the other hand, the real Dumbledore might ask Harry to fetch his Invisibility Cloak not because he thought that Harry didn't already have it, but because he wanted Harry to do what he knew Harry would do: alert Ron and Hermione as to what was transpiring, and possibly have them stand guard as they ended up doing.

3. Someone should do a really close study of what Dumbledore does with each of his hands throughout the book; there's a lot of seemingly gratuitous detail about which of his hands does what. Inconsistencies might prove revealing.

4. We never, of course, actually find out why Dumbledore trusted Snape so. That must certainly come out in #7. I think it will be revealed by Dumbledore, but, of course, it may be discovered in some other way.

5. Bellatrix and Narcissa go to find Snape in Spinner's End where, evidently, they understood him to be residing during the summer vacation. However, when Dumbledore injured his hand, which was shortly before he fetched Harry from the Dursleys' - i.e., in the middle of the summer, Dumbledore says he returned to Hogwarts "desperately injured," and was saved only by the expert ministrations of Snape, which presumably means that Snape was at Hogwarts at the time. I'm not sure whether this is in the least significant, but I wonder what Snape was doing at Hogwarts. Had Dumbledore summoned him there?

6. Maybe there's something wrong with Fred and George. "Crookshanks's yellow eyes followed" one of their fanged frisbees "and he hissed when it came too close" (Caput 9); "Crookshanks trotted after" Ginny, "his yellow eyes fixed upon Arnold" the Pygmy Puff (Caput 14), another Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes product. As we know from Book 3, Crookshanks is very good at detecting evil things, and he doesn't like them.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

¿Is This Word Also Stupid?

See the front page of today's Citizen. Now, in addition to "metrosexuals" (see "Words'worth" on this blog, Oct. 10, 2005), we have "Ubersexuals." (I assume that given the linguistic provenance of the noun, it ought to be capitalized in all cases.) The Citizen reports that "Ubersexuals are the most attractive (not just physically), most dynamic, and most compelling men of their generations. They are confident, masculine, stylish, and committed to uncompromising quality in all areas of life," according to Marian Salzman, the New York advertising executive who invented the word. Apparently, "Ubersexual numero uno" in the world today is U2's Bono, because "he's global, socially aware, confident, and compassionate, and he commands a huge base of followers who are fans of his music and his humanitarianism." In addition, though, "any man who wants to reconnect with his masculinity ... can also be one."

(For the record, I, unlike Ms. Salzman, am not sexist. I firmly believe that any woman who wants to reconnect with her masculinity ought to be able to be one too.)

In addition to Bono, I think both John and Vladimir Ilyich Lennon/Lenin would be excellent candidates (albeit dead ones) for the title. Maybe it's something to do with the last name. During the period of Глáсность (Glasnost), under Михайл Горбачёв (Mikhael Gorbachev), it was revealed that Иосиф Сталин (Josef Stalin), at the time of his death, in 1953, was in the midst of a five-year plan to transform himself into a Hадсексуальный (Ubersexual). The late pope, † John Paul II †, was clearly an Ubersexual: who could possibly have been more global, socially aware, confident, and compassionate (in his own way, that is), and have commanded such a large number of followers who were fans of his humanitarianism and his music? (John-Paul wrote more #1 hit songs than any other composers in history, including such spirituals as "She Loves You," "Help!" and "I Want to Hold Your Hand.") The current Pope, † His Holiness Benedict XVI †, is the first German Übersexuellpapst since Victor II in 1057. Der Führer, Adolf Hitler, was ein Übersexuellübermensch: probably the most dynamic and compelling man of his generation; supremely confident, masculine, and committed to uncompromising quality in all areas of life (and death); global, socially aware, and with a massive following. Harry Potter is also an obvious Ubersexual. So, for that matter, is † Jesus † (I don't know how much material there is on his sense of style, but I have seen some pictures of him with a pretty chic cross on his back). And evidently Captain Salamander is right up there. ¿Can anybody think of any other famous Ubersexuals? ¿Are any of you latent Ubersexuals, just biding your time, waiting for the right moment to come out of the closet and declare yourselves? ¡Deprive us not any longer!